Blissalicious Blog

 

It’s been a while since I’ve written about the burnout beastie, apparently today is the day! 

In this moment far too many people that I care about are fighting the burnout beastie… and something needs to change!  

I’ve have fought the burnout beastie a few too many times and I’ve come out the other side every single time – knowing more, being more and having greater awareness than I believed possible. If, today,  you are sitting on the edge, going ‘wtf?’, I have written this for you.  Sense it as a big energetic hug that can change everything in an instant!

The burnout beastie sneaks up on you, stealthily turning a once joyful life into a shattering string of ‘Who am I and is this all there is?’ moments of overwhelm and despair.

In the worst of those times, I remember hanging on by a thread, waking up every morning, wondering if the thread would hold another day.  Wondering if it would be easier to just quietly, gently let go and allow the sad little burnout shell that was pretending to be me to just disappear into the nothingness…

I remember not being able to keep myself upright for more than about 3 hours at a time and continually going back to bed and crying for no reason except total exhaustion. I remember not being able to remember the beginning of the sentence or what I was talking about, being so incoherent that I could barely answer basic ‘yes or no’ questions… Questions like ‘would you like some chocolate?’ were pretty much beyond my cognitive capacity to deal with (difficult to believe now I know!)  It's a scary thing being 40 and seriously wondering if you have Alzheimers...

And I remember being extremely unhappy... (actually, let's not mention unhappy...it reminds me of being unhappy.)

It's been almost 5 years now since that was me. Most of all I remember wondering how the hell I had created such a mess and being terrified that it was never going to change. The burnout beastie had me so fried that I couldn’t decide if I should check-in to a psychiatric hospital or check-out… permanently.  I am so grateful that my decision-making capacities were non-existent at that time. So grateful that I had disabled myself to such a degree that I literally had no capacity to choose anything except to just BE!

Despite my total incapacity, somewhere inside I knew that neither of those choices could create the different possibility I was truly desiring, that had got me into this mess in the first place! And I knew that something had to change – massively.

What’s funny about burnout is that we always want the world outside to change.  We want the world to conform to our awareness of what could be possible… and we want to take everyone we know with us… the burnout beastie shows up when we are doing so much to create change that we can no longer just BE.

It’s our addiction to creating change and generating greater possibilities in other people that wears us out and takes us from being a catalyst for change, into a 'human doing' that desperately requires change.  People who get burnout are never happy with the status quo.  We know we have the potency to create a different reality and we want it now!  It’s how we go about it that sends us into the arms of the burnout beastie.

We tell ourselves a grand story about how much we care and how much we need to do to enable those around us to have different choices, mostly because they can’t see what we can (that bit could be true … they often can’t… or maybe they just don’t choose to?)

I bought this big fat burnout beastie lie for a long time.   How could things change if I wasn’t there? Always being the catalyst, always being there for other people, always making it easy for everyone… except the one person who needed it most… ME!

Well, when the burnout beastie comes to visit, you can’t be that for other people anymore… you don’t have it in you! There is no steam left to power the train!!  It’s over baby… you are officially on the intensive care ‘do not disturb’ list… until you change you… until you start caring for you… until you start feeding and nurturing the amazing being that is you. There is nothing for you to do except be.

It’s a hard pill to swallow.  You don’t want to know that all of the people you have been the catalyst for will finally have to make their own choices and create their own possibilities.  Some of them will, some of them won’t.  And it’s not your job to change that.  You are the catalyst – you got the steam train running in some new directions… what they do with that energy is their choice – not yours.

So is now the time to put down all of the beasts of burden you are carrying around…  is now the time to look at what would truly work for YOU… and to actually just BE the possibilities you are aware of, rather than dragging the unwilling along for a bumpy ride down a dead-end track?

Yes, I know… you have a whole lot of “shoulds, have to’s and must do’s” and 'oh but's'  running around in your head right now.  You can’t possibly stop this now… there are people relying on you, you need the money… life won’t be worth living if you give up the thing you most want to create…

Every excuse you can come up with I have tried… and tried… and tried… and what you need to know is that the burnout beastie is now driving the train… and he doesn’t do train tracks… there are no refueling stops… so you are on a collision course to nowhere – unless you change something fast.

So this is what you are going to change.  You are going to start sensing what you truly desire and you are going to start nurturing you first, before anything… or anyone else.   That’s it.  Turn off the phone. Cancel stuff.  Change stuff… do whatever it takes to boot out the burnout beastie – it’s time to refuel. 

If you're not sure what refueling looks like... here are three of my favourites:

• Snuggle up with someone or something you adore...(even if it is a teddy bear or your dog!) ...stop thinking... allow peace to infuse your universe and just BE.
• Laugh.  Words cannot express how grateful I am for the friends who made me laugh and laugh and laugh until I cried during the darkest of those burnout beastie days... they literally saved my life.
• Play.  Oops... you've forgotten what that is like haven't you!  Find a small child who has total delight in their universe and rediscover a whole new universe of just being...
  

If you were choosing for you today, what would you choose?

This is not the end.  It is just the beginning.

Love you! xox Lisa

P.S.  When I removed the burnout beastie from my life I lost the person I thought I had to be... and I became the person I could BE - the one that truly could change anything... just by BEING... what if that could be possible for you?

 

I'm happy about nothing a lot.  A LOT!  And really, that just makes me happier... even when I've got stuff I could be unhappy about (and who doesn't??) I'm pretty much happy... how does it get even better than that??

If you are wondering how this could be, its simple... I choose happy!  I've tried the other options... they didn't really work for me!!  So I just keep choosing happy. Even when it doesn't feel like I can...

Now, sometimes that looks like finding the darkest humour in some crazy situation... and sometimes it is the lightest of lightness of just being... it doesn't matter... it's still a form of happy and I never judge where happy comes from!!

In choosing happy, a lot more happy comes my way... would you be willing to choose happy, no matter what?  For absolutely no reason except that you can?  I wonder what could change in your world if you did?

If you start choosing happy you might find that you are present with a whole new set of possibilities... rather than the list of impossibilities that are making you unhappy!

You might also find that people want to play with you a whole lot more... instead of wondering what the hell it would take for you to be happy just once!  And you could discover that being happy is fun... and easier by far than being unhappy!  Have you ever noticed that happy people seem to have a whole lot more energy and zing?  There's a reason for that!! 

When we have been unhappy for a while it sometimes feels a little weird to just start choosing happy.  What does that feel like again?  Happy?  I remember happy... (I do?? Really?) Yes... you really do, even if it doesn't feel like it in this ten seconds!

Look for your happy in spontaneous moments ...like unexpectedly finding Lindt chocolate in your laptop bag late at night ... or teaching the dog to dance (not so successful... but very funny!) ... or running into a favourite friend when you really need to see someone who just loves you for you... wow... it's all just happy!

Or you could find your happy through gratitude... everytime I hear friends talk about their corporate jobs I find my happy very quickly!  No longer working for power-obsessed, politically motivated, unaware idiots is something I truly am grateful for - every single day (and it's been over 4 years since I escaped the lunatic asylum!!!) 

And of course I find my happy in my work - I truly do love my work... and I love what I can contribute to this world through my work... and that creates a whole lot of happy in my universe! (Have you got my free Love Your Work e-coaching yet?  It's designed to create happy too!!)

And of course, you can just make people think you are really really really weird by being happy just because you can... no other reason... in fact no reason at all. (Funnily enough, doing this actually makes me happy too... I receive a strange pleasure in BEing totally different to what people expect!)  Happy about nothing is literally the simplest and fastest way to get happy - it's just a choice!!

So you see... happy can be anywhere... and everywhere!  What would it take for you to choose it?

(Yep, it's a Pollyanna moment... a long happy one... that pretty much never needs to end... unless you choose unhappy!) How do you keep your happy intact?  I would love to know!

 
 

Are you aware you have an infinite connection with everything in the universe?  That no matter how much you love to 'be alone' (or hate it!) you are never truly alone? 

When you sit quietly in nature, do you feel alone, or do you feel connected with every grain of sand... every tiny creature... and every molecule that has ever been? 

When we have peace with the sense of being alone and yet are totally connect with everything, we no longer make 'alone' a wrongness. Often, with this peace, our feelings of loneliness dissipate with ease if we are willing to allow this change to show up. 

This sense of peace is what allows us to more tangibly connect with people and other living creatures in a way that is a gift to all. Have you noticed how much more people want to spend time with you when you have a sense of peace in your world rather than loneliness?

So next time you are feeling alone, would you be willing to quietly sense your total connection with everything that is, everything that has ever been, and everything that ever will be?  The vastness of sensing our connection to the universe in this way truly is extraordinary...

What is your sense of being alone?  And how would you like it to be?

For me, I celebrate my 'alone' times... there's not nearly enough of them anymore!

 

This morning I went for a swim in the sparkly turquoise ocean at Noosa… the beach was quiet and once out beyond the first set of crashing shore breaks the peace and stillness was stunning!  I had no head chatter; I was immersed in the subtle sounds of the ocean being the ocean… and it was bliss!

And it got me pondering how rarely I have this stillness inside my mind, and how often we think that we are everything we are thinking!!  Besides being in nature, those times of stillness and internal peace mostly come from two places for me… getting my Bars run (oh beautiful thing!!) and returning to sender all of the thoughts, feelings and emotions that are not mine (that would be 99.99999999% of the head chatter – gone - instantly!)

We have been trained to identify with all of these thoughts, feelings and emotions as if they are us… but what if they are simply clouds floating by that are nothing to do with who we truly be? 

What if we could allow them to float on through our minds without attaching any conclusions, any significance or any trauma and drama to any of it?  Would there be more peace, more stillness and more space to become aware of the bliss that is available to us in the moment?

So this week I’m returning to sender every thought, feeling or emotion that I am aware of that is not mine… what if we could have way more space in our minds?  Would this create the peace and awareness of possibilities we are so often looking for?

(In case you are wondering...'Return to Sender' is one of the many practical tools I use from Access Consciousness to create ease and joy in my daily living.)

(Image thanks to Pinterest)

 

Over the last few days I’ve had some really interesting experiences of how people perceive the energy of ease.  It seems a lot of people just aren’t willing to choose it!  Every time I see this it spins my head, turns my brain into fairy floss and creates a density in my body that allows me to know it is a lie for me. 

Last week I was talking to someone about a personal situation that has been rather interesting this year and I was quite excited to note that in two weeks I will have removed it from my life totally and that will allow all of the little bits of stuck energy still hanging about to be cleared with ease.  

This person proceeded to impel me with a whole lot of points of view about how I should delve deep into it so I could clear it.  They refused to hear that I could clear it with ease and that once it was done, I would be totally free of that situation… they refused to hear anything except their own limited (from my perspective!) point of view about how I should fix this, not to mention the big blast of judgments they shot at me.  They literally could not hear that ease is possible for me in this situation.  

I almost bought it but the density of the conversation showed me that while this may be true for this person, it is not a choice I would make for myself.  What if immersing ourselves in heavy energy does nothing but intensify it? That’s how it felt to me in the moment… and once I removed myself from that person’s space and points of view, I quickly regained the lightness and joy that I started the conversation with.

WOW!!   What else is possible here?  It was a gift to see how different I have become – by choosing awareness and consciousness rather than all the density of ‘feeling the feelings’ that many spiritual people like to immerse themselves in.  

What if we didn’t have to feel the intensity of things to clear them?  What if change could be feather light and come through like a cool spring breeze, bringing new possibilities and choices in an instant??  

Which brings me to the next fascinating situation… I wrote some copy for a client and included the words ‘with ease’ in a headline.  They asked me to remove it because no-one in their industry believes leadership can be done with ease!  When I look at the energy of that, there is a lot of fixed points of view and value vested in the idea of it being complex and complicated – and this is exactly what creates the exclusion and the limitations that stops the ease from showing up!  

Kinda funny really… what if we give up ‘struggling against’ and creating by force?  What if we could just ‘choose ease’? Could that create a different reality?

So how often do we give up our awareness and our capacity for letting go in an instant to make other people feel comfortable?  What can I say… it’s boring for me to hold onto stuff and wallow through it, hoping that if I stay there long enough I might come out the other side… in my universe it is way easier and way more joyful just to choose a new reality and create new possibilities!  Who said we have to suffer??

And what if we could change the ‘tough’ bits in an instant? The situation may still be there, but your response to it could be completely different… With the insight and love of my totally awesome friends, I have chosen to create ease in this personal situation about a thousand times this year…

So it wasn’t always easy – but in each situation I have been able to create greater ease than I would have if I wallowed in the distress of the situation for the entire time and made it all really significant and meaningful.  Sometimes you just gotta go – "that person is mean, nasty and insane, and nothing I do or be will change that – it’s simply their choice.  Cool… and what else is possible??"

Can you imagine how excited I be that finally the situation will be resolved??? Woohoo!!  Look out world!!!   Would you be willing to have that much ease even under the most challenging of circumstances?  It’s just a choice… (and a little know-how!)

Yeah – I choose for my world to overflow with ease!  I reclaim my space of joy and ease... and I be the awesomeness of me...

And if you choose to - enjoy the 'with ease' conversation on Facebook too -  lots of great perspectives!

xox    Lisa

Image: Pinterest :)

This week I have been celebrating a ‘failure’ of rather epic proportions in my personal life.  After a year of challenges I’ve made some choices that on the outside look pretty crazy.  If I look at them logically they will cost me way too much money... pretty much everything I have worked for during the last 20 years.

You may be wondering… so what exactly is there to celebrate about ‘losing’ way too much money?  

These choices give me unprecedented freedom.  Despite the obvious financial loss, I am feeling more joy around these issues than I have felt in a very long time.  These choices are allowing me to be even more in the question of ‘What else I can change that would generate a phenomenal life for me?’
 
By removing a whole conglomeration of ‘stuff’ that has been joyless, I am actually opening at least a million other doors, filled with possibilities which are far more generative than what I have now!  Sometimes we have to be willing to lose if we are to create something we truly value.

So these choices allow me to move from emotional survival to high energy thrival – very quickly and with a lot of ease.  These choices allow me to live a joyful life that will contribute way more to my businesses energetically because I won’t be trying to resolve the irresolvable with a person who lives in a fog of insanity, lies and denial.  

I am celebrating being able to make these choices without caring about who is right or wrong. Without having to prove my rightness.  Without making myself wrong for any of it.  Without having to make the other person wrong.  These choices give all of me back to me. These choices give me back all of the energy that has been tied up in the insanities, despite my considerable talents in keeping this situation compartmentalized from the rest of my life.  I now have peace.  So how does it get even better than this?

If stuff isn’t working for us that sticky energy carries through into every other area of our lives, despite our best intentions.  For a while now I have been systematically removing everything that does not contribute to the energy I desire my life to be. 

These 'failures' have lead me to make the demand of me to BE more, to create more and to contribute more.  This is why I celebrate.That can’t show up with fullness, lusciousness and bliss when there are bits of my life that are ‘stuck’. 

So often we are unwilling to let go of ‘stuff’ we believe is important to us.  How much of that ‘stuff’ is how we prove we are right?  I would ask you to question everything in your life and look at what you truly desire to keep.  Look at what truly gives you joy.  Look at what truly delivers the capacity to BE you and change the world.  Look at what contributes to your living and what dissipates your energy… and then have the courage to make the changes that need to be made.

When we don’t have the life we desire it’s because we’re lying to ourselves about our capacity to be, do, have, create or generate.  We’re cutting off bits of ourselves to make the people around us happy, satisfied or comfortable.  And all the while the world misses out on the gift we truly be. In my heart I know that is the real failure I would crawl over broken glass to avoid. (In fact, the past 12 months has felt like that... as I have excavated the real me I have seen how squashed my spirit had become.)

When we remove the sticky bits that no longer serve us we create clarity, choice, change and greater possibilities.  I have come to a place where none of the sticky bits are significant to me. It's been an interesting journey...In the past few months I have tried out every emotion that exists... and then some! 

To change all of this, I recognised I need to choose a peaceful, blissful, joyful life where nothing and no-one can impact my joy. And oh how potent we are when our inner joy bubbles to the surface in the face of the greatest storms!  Make peace with your failures and celebrate them… they are but a passing storm.

So… now that I’ve stopped judging me for all of the ‘wrong’ choices that lead me to this place, I can see there’s really quite a lot to celebrate in this moment!  I also know through the essence of my being that money follows joy.  My joy is here, now.  So the money thing is not something to be concerned about… when we don’t make the ‘bad’ bits significant it can be a joyride all the way to the bank!  

My gratitude for coming through this storm with grace and ease is immense.  Woohoo!! It is my time to drink champagne and dance with this wild and precious life.  Anything is possible when we unleash our potency on the world!  So what contribution can all of this be to my phenomenal life?  I'll give you an update in a few months :)

xox
Lisa

If you enjoyed this post, my Mum's blog post on Success and Fear, channelled from the Akashic Records at Life Whispering may interest you :)  This topic offers much to explore as we move past the restrictions and limitations of how this reality sees many of these current issues.

Image Credit

Within this beautiful spiral shell there is darkness and light.  I had a wonderful conversation with a friend this week about how often we keep the darkness hidden away and squashed inside and only allow the light to be seen because that's what we have been told is 'acceptable'. 

Whether we admit it or not, somewhere in our depths, most of us have more issues than Vogue. And we keep them well hidden until such time as they burst to the surface, dripping unresolved emotions everywhere.  As the energy on our planet is in upheaval, so it is within us at this time.  Much is surfacing to be harmonised and resolved.

What could change if we were to start questioning what is 'acceptable' and to start to follow our own knowing?  It seems pretty clear that the traditional ways of dealing with the darkness hasn't exactly created peace and light in the world!!  From that space of clarity and inner knowing we can generate the peace and harmony that comes from resolving or espressing the dark and hidden places that have held us captive until now. 

When we get over the idea that the darkness is 'wrong' and the light is 'right' it opens a door for us to look at both aspects and how they can offer new possibilities.  As the divine feminine energy moves into place and we start to operate from a place of flow instead of force, all of us have the possibility of experiencing how much capacity the darkness has to create a potency in our life that allows greater possibilities to show up. 

This potency is created within us when we make peace with the darkness.  When we know that we have what it takes to move beyond the darkness.  When we have gratitude for the contributions the darkness has made in our life and we are willing to step into a lighter place without a backward glance.

Resolving the darkness is not an invitation to splatter your darkness everywhere all over people through fear, anger, abuse or any other emotion of force... It is an invitation to look at the darkness with awareness,  to remove its power to inflict harm, and allow the insights gained from that process to contribute to a different possibility for the rest of your life.  So what does this mean in practical terms?

Would you have more peace and harmony if you...

• stopped creating friction as a way of proving you are alive and looked for the possibilities of ease and joy?
• focused on what the lightness can contribute instead of what the darkness is not contributing?
• asked the darkness what it could contribute to you if you saw it differently?
• celebrated the darkness and turned on the party lights?
• reviewed everything in your life that is no longer serving you and simply let it go, without having to be 'right' or to explain and justify your choices?
• stopped creating your dreams from a fantasy based on the past, and simply looked at what you desire right now?
• allowed relationships and beliefs that are based in lack, fear and anger to slip quietly away?

I am definitely not suggesting you become a doormat, quite the opposite!  When we allow the darkness to have no power over us, and to contribute the potency it has created within us, we become very clear about what we are choosing.  We set boundaries, we speak up for ourselves and we follow the path that offers peace and harmony, even if we have to climb a couple of boulders along the way.  It is okay to roar!  It is important to be heard.  When you can do this from a space of darkness resolved, rather than the underlying unresolved issue, your potency will not be mistaken as anger! 

Peace and harmony can be created from darkness.  So wherever we see these energies playing out around us, it is up to us to ask 'What energies could I be, do or contribute here that could change this in an instant?'   When we stop contributing to disharmony, much can change... more space and lightness shows up on the inside and the outside!!

As I have followed this process in my own life over the past few weeks and months I have come to see the value in recognising both sides.  All of a sudden we see the 'thing' that keeps us in the spiral pattern of repeating an issue, rather than being able to graciously move into a lighter, more blissful, more joyful reality.  Once we have shone a light onto the 'thing' it can no longer trigger the darkness in us... instead we can wallow in the bliss and sparkle! Simply beautiful!

As we go, so goes the earth.  Every time we shift the darkness we allow more lightness into our beautiful planet.  That lightness both heals and allows for greater transparency in places where there is still unresolved darkness - for us personally and on a global scale... all change truly starts with us!

Have a beautiful Sunday... take a few moments to find some peace within :)
xx
Lisa

Today I have a day at home by myself - a rare occurrence and one I'm grateful for - it is rejuvenating for me!  While I did skip off to my brother's this morning for a few hours of easter egg hunts, chocolate hot cross buns, making easter egg paper collages with my niece and nephew and joyful conversation, I'm home now and in a peaceful flow.

Playing with my Soul Coaching cards... here are the messages I received when asking for some beautiful serenity insights to share :-)

Peace...True peace is not static and boring...it's full of grace, enthusiasm and vitality! Serenity is within.  (I'm sure this one was especially for me... I will never think of peace as boring again!!)

Power...Reclaim your inner abilities and divine strength... use your wisdom and grace to bring healing to others.

Acceptance...When you are not in allowance of ALL of you, you deny who you truly be.  There are no wrong experiences.

Inspiration...Creativity and inspiration are a blessing... are we willing to receive stimulating ideas that revitalize us?

Silence...The silent still place within is our source of potency... in the silence our full awareness becomes conscious.

What choice could you make today that could contribute more serenity to your blissful living?
Happy Easter, I hope you have been able to enjoy some serenity and rejuvenation!
xx
Lisa

Image via Pinterest

I often look back at my life in awe.  All those jobs that I really didn’t enjoy provided me with the perfect mix of skills and experiences for creating the joyful businesses I now have the pleasure of playing with!

When I really delve into it, I can see exactly why every single one of those experiences happened how it did.  Through my choice, and for my ultimate benefit (even though it definitely didn’t feel like it at the time!)

And now, as I’m going through a personal situation I am finding quite challenging at times, I am discovering a peace with it. This morning for the first time I saw it was possible to have this same internal knowing that whatever it looks like on the surface, and whatever happens, ultimately it will be perfect!

And so it is with all of the ‘negative’ experiences we choose… they hold us up, spin us out, create havoc and ultimately show us different possibilities which could never arise if we didn’t start to look at what else is possible amongst the chaos we sometimes find ourselves in.

So today, I have much gratitude that everything is in perfect order… and I’m willing to choose even more ease, joy, bliss and abundance in my living than I’ve ever had before!

Please know I’m not saying that we should lie down and take everything that drops into our life without question… there’s always choice! So, on those ‘not-so-perfect’ but ultimately absolutely perfect days, here’s a question you can ask to start changing the energy into something closer to what you desire:

What energy, space and consciousness can I contribute to my living today and in the future that will generate, create, and institute more than I imagine possible?

You don’t have to answer it, just be willing to follow your own knowing about what’s required to create a blissful change, within you or externally!

What will you do today to choose bliss, despite what your external reality is displaying?

xx
Lisa

When I came across this video, all I could think was wow, wouldn't it be fun to create 'works of art' like this and leave them in unexpected places?



The music is a bach cantata and this is actually an advert for a wooden mobile phone... sometimes advertising can be fun!

(Found via The Fox is Black... home of awesomeness in art & design!)